Apparently 2 thieves decided electronics, cars, jewelry just wasn’t cutting it anymore, the thrill was gone. They set their sights on a 60yr old man’s buffaloes. I don’t know if they thought through what exactly they’d do with the animals when they got them but they did think of how to subdue the old man long enough to get away.

Any normal human thinks rope, handcuffs, some sort of tying of the body to an immovable object. But these thieves were not your run of the mill a-hole thieves. No these were executive a-hole thieves. So they proceeded to jam a pepsi bottle…BOTTLE…up the dudes pooper. Yaaa, that oughta do it. From the looks of the x-ray they didn’t just get the tip in and call it a successful sodomy, no they figured if you’re gonna do something you should do it to the best of your ability. I can admire that. This x-ray is unbelievable, if I was this guy I’d have it blown up, framed and mounted over my fire place.

An American doctor went over to see the tree man and gave the brother some hope. I was thinking it was going to be more like a vet visit where he was just gonna recommend he be “put down”. I guess that’s why I’m not in the medical field. So it looks like tree-man has HPV which normally can cause small warts. But tree man has a rare genetic fault that prevents his immune system from doing really anything it should. So HPV run a muck in his body and he has grown what they call “cutaneous horns” or what I like to call “uglaneous lizard bark”. Good for you tree man, get well brother!

He prunes himself every winter but has yet to bear any fruit. Must see this video.

I’m not sure how they decided what was an arm or leg, looks debatable to me. Doctors began surgery on the little girl and they think they can return her to normal.

UPDATE: She’s out of surgery and doing well.

I’m sooo thankful I work from home. I remember one of my brothers first offices at Software.com was the janitors closet, the ceiling was about 5 ft high and at an angle. But he did have his own entrance, so that was nice. Check out the “winners” of the worst cubicle contest.