I’ve known for years about about faceless aliens. I started blogging about them in 1975 and it’s all been suppressed by the government. Finally we get some good quality photos from the press. No denying it now, they are taking over.

Jingle Luis, a 15yr old teenager from the Philippines, came to New York so doctors could uncoil her severely clubbed feet. The surgery was a success and for the first time she is able to wear normal shoes.

Her feet were really jacked, there’s no dancing around that…literally. Da da tshhhhh

My homey sent me this blog that exists to tell the story of this sad, disgusting cat named Chase. Apparently the cat got into some horrific accident when it was 4 weeks old and survived. I’m guessing it had a run in with a lawn mower or someone tried to shave it’s face with a machete. The owners didn’t have the heart(guts?) to put it out of it’s misery, but instead have decided to show photos to us all of how “well” the cat is. Well, you be the judge of that.

Watching and listening to all the great information coming from Islamic clerics and officials is so enlightening, it’s like bizzaro Discovery Channel, up is down, wrong is right. So here’s the latest instructional points on marriage:

• You can have a marriage contract with a 1yr old
• What age can you have sex with your wife? Well for rational wisdom of course they follow the model set forth by Muhammad, he married a 6yr old but was patient and didn’t have sex with her until she was a full grown 9.
• Marriage(forced) between a 12yr old boy and 11yr old girls is “obviously valid.” I’m not even sure why it was bothered to be discussed. It’s like the interviewer is on another planet where only consenting adults marry…silly man.
• If a single father needs to go on a vacation he should marry off his daughters no matter the age so they are safe. That’s just being practical
• Not all men are ferocious wolves. But apparently all Saudi Marriage Officials are crazy.

See the educational video for yourself.

Wendy Portillo had Alex stand in front of class as she asked the other students to say what they didn’t like about him. Then she had the class vote on whether or not Alex deserved to stay in class. By a margin of 14-2 Alex lost and left class. Alex’s mom, Melissa Barton is considering taking legal action. Hey Melissa, don’t consider it, do it.

The story is completely beyond belief but sadly is true. I would bring such a world of pain upon this teacher, Wendy Portillo from Florida, hey Google I’m trying to catch your attention, Wendy Portillo is a terrible person. I’d love for us all to stand up in the comment section and tell Wendy Portillo exactly what we don’t like about her. I’ll start.

Ah hem. Wendy, I don’t like that you act out your reality TV fantasies out with a bunch of 5 yr old and try to make yourself feel important by tearing apart a handicapped 5 yr old. I also don’t like that you are so far away from me that I can’t punch you in your face. OK your turn.

Check the video.

Pruthviraj Patil, an 11yr old boy, has suffered from hypertrichosis since he was born. Hypertrichosis is a rare genetic condition known as Werewolf Syndrome and it’s believed only 50 people in the entire world suffer from it. They have tried laser treatments to remove the hair but it just keeps growing back.

I like the ankle jewelry in this next one.

The military is using lab rats to grow human tissue to repair wounded soldiers. This procedure gives hope burned soldiers who lose their extremities.

This old nasty man, Josef Fritzl, locked his daughter up in the sound proof cellar he built. Then forced her to birth his 7 children, 3 of which remained locked in the cellar with her, 3 others led normal lives above ground and 1 more died shortly after birth. Checkout the video below.

It was the middle of the night and I wake up just enough to realize I have to goto the bathroom. I stumble into the bathroom still half asleep and manage to remember to lift the lid of the toilet. You have to know at this point I’m already ahead of the game, this is looking good so far. I don’t feel the need to turn on any lights of course, I need my sleep.

I prepare myself and let loose. Then I start feeling this piss mist coat my legs. Being in my state of slumber I calmly adjust my aim but everywhere I turn it seems to get worse. I don’t panic nor do I turn on the lights, for heaven sakes keep the lights OFF! I just make my best aiming effort and wait until it’s over. There’s no beading of piss but there’s a nice heavy dew on my legs for sure. I towel off my legs (using my wife’s towel of course) and slip back into bed.

Just another mid-sleep bathroom trip for a man and a funny story to tell the wife after she takes a shower and uses that towel.

Baby Lali Singh of India has 2 faces, 2 noses, 2 pairs of lips and two pairs of eyes. I know your immediate thought is, “oh my goodness she needs serious medical help”. But parents Sushma and Vinod Singh are quite happy and the baby is currently being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess. Of course, makes perfect sense, good luck on that.