Watching and listening to all the great information coming from Islamic clerics and officials is so enlightening, it’s like bizzaro Discovery Channel, up is down, wrong is right. So here’s the latest instructional points on marriage:

• You can have a marriage contract with a 1yr old
• What age can you have sex with your wife? Well for rational wisdom of course they follow the model set forth by Muhammad, he married a 6yr old but was patient and didn’t have sex with her until she was a full grown 9.
• Marriage(forced) between a 12yr old boy and 11yr old girls is “obviously valid.” I’m not even sure why it was bothered to be discussed. It’s like the interviewer is on another planet where only consenting adults marry…silly man.
• If a single father needs to go on a vacation he should marry off his daughters no matter the age so they are safe. That’s just being practical
• Not all men are ferocious wolves. But apparently all Saudi Marriage Officials are crazy.

See the educational video for yourself.

You can see the full debate of XXXChurch and Ron Jeremy on Nightline’s website.

South Africa has some interesting days ahead. Jacob Zuma is the new leader of the African National Congress. The next president will be appointed by the ANC and Zuma looks to be in the on deck circle. Now you’re thinking, “wow Kyle really is up to speed on African politics, this is an interesting blog piece, I wonder what his thoughts are on economic progress throughout developing countries.” I’m not as shallow as you think, but this is where this post makes U-turn at the deep end, puts the floaties on and heads back to safer waters.

Jacob Zuma likes his women, even if they don’t like him or just don’t know they like him yet. He has at least 4 wives and 20 children, but he’s not quite your stereotypical polygamist family man. At least not the stereotype I’ve developed from watching Big Love. He also likes to rape women. He’s been charged with corruption and rape. His response to the rape charges are priceless. Here are some particularly charming quotes:

Confronted with the rape charge, Zuma took the old “short skirt” excuse, claiming it was his duty as a Zulu warrior to have sex with a woman if she wore a short kanga (an African wrap) and that he could not leave her “unfulfilled.”

Am I the only one who didn’t know the “short skirt” excuse was old? Maybe it’s like insanity defense in the US.

Zuma told the court that he knew the woman was “clearly aroused” by the fact that her kanga was “quite short” — meaning knee-length.

“In the Zulu culture, you cannot just leave a woman if she is ready,” he explained in court.

According to Zuma’s defense, Zulu men have sexual primacy over women. Therefore, he could not be guilty.

“To deny her sex, that would have been tantamount to rape,” he claimed.

I’m guessing the woman he raped has a different interpretation of “ready” and “aroused”. No means yes, her slapping him and fighting back was just role playing apparently. The woman was HIV positive at the time of the incident and Zuma doesn’t seemed too concerned.See Mr. Zuma has extensive medical training and here’s why he knows he’s safe despite not wearing a condom:

“I had a shower afterwards”

I kid you not. And there’s also the matter of Zuma facing 12 counts of fraud, one count of money laundering, two counts of corruption and one charge of racketeering. I was having a hard time choosing between our current presidential nominees, but now I have some real perspective.